CHRISTMAS IS HERE AGAIN: But does it look a little different this year?

Yes, Christmas is here once again. For my family, we are one very important person short this year. Not as a result of divorce, but the psychologists say the feelings are very similar.

I remember the first Christmas after my divorce. In fact, I separated from my husband shortly after Christmas. The holidays are always a hard time if your marriage is failing or is over. All the work and preparation for the holidays just don’t seem worth it. But I kept trying to move forward, as you must, especially if you have children.

Children expect certain things at Christmas. Even if we don’t feel like celebrating, we want to fulfill our kid’s expectations. At least that is how I felt when my children were small. My kids will tell you now that they always had good holidays and never knew things were as bad as they were. I’m pretty good at hiding those feelings of loss. Even now.

Someone told me once that your main purpose as a parent is to make good memories for your children. Certainly, that is one purpose as a parent. And holiday memories are ones that will always last for your children.

So even if we don’t want to do the preparation, the shopping, the cooking, etc., do it anyway. Sometimes just the act of doing things you’ve always done, even if you have to do it alone now, will help you get through the hardest of times. It won’t change your situation, but it will give you and most importantly, your children, a sense of normalcy that you may be missing.

Christmas is here and will be over before you know it. Make the best of the time you have. Make sure your children have good memories for the holidays. And you too! Merry Christmas!