HIRING A DIVORCE LAWYER? What you need to know before it is too late
Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash
Do you find yourself thinking about getting a divorce more and more? Are you feeling trapped or frustrated the longer you stay? If so, you may also be thinking about hiring an attorney to handle the divorce for you. After all, going through the divorce process is not something you have ever done before or at least not something you are trained to do. It can be a scary prospect to think about going to court and making arguments in front of a Judge against your spouse. Your spouse may be having these same thoughts and in fact, your spouse may already have an attorney.
Hiring a divorce lawyer can seem like a daunting task, but there are some considerations you should know to make this part of the process a little less scary. After almost 25 years as a family law attorney, I want you to know the following:
1. Start early. As soon as it becomes apparent that either you or your spouse is interested in a divorce, you should start shopping for someone to help you through this matter. It may be premature for any filing, but you need to have this person decided on sooner rather than later. The attorney will appreciate being brought in early so that he/she is not playing catch up later on in the process. That is always more expensive.
2. This is not a got-cha moment. Hiring an attorney in a divorce is not something you do to spite the other party or to intimidate him/her. The attorney’s role in a divorce is to protect your rights and to make sure you get an equitable or perhaps equal division of the assets. The attorney serves to add that extra layer of protection between the spouses. An experienced attorney will also know when it is necessary to involve the courts to protect the children or if it is just a misunderstanding that can be worked out in mediation or some other way. It is not wise to try to control the situation or the actions of your spouse by threatening to hire an attorney. Those kinds of situations usually do not end well.
3. How to begin. First, ask your friends and family for referrals. But do not stop there. Do online searches to find family law attorneys near you or in your county. Talk to them over the phone. Ask for a free initial consultation if they do not offer one. Not all lawyers can offer a free meeting, but they should at least offer a discounted rate for the initial contact. Do not be shy. Sometimes you must ask for what you want.
4. Ability to communicate is paramount. When you meet with the prospective attorney, be sure he/she is listening to you and understanding your story. If the lawyer does all the talking, either he/she is not listening to you, or he/she does not care to hear your story. Either way, that should be a red flag for you. Experienced family law attorneys realize that each case is different, and it is crucial to hear the client out on their story. The attorney must know what is important to the client and what things the client may be able to live with or without as a result of this case. Also, the attorney should be asking critical questions to draw out the story from the client. Your job, as the client, is to be sure you tell the attorney everything you believe to be important. The most important thing for you to determine is whether you feel comfortable talking to this attorney and do you feel that you can trust him/her. Ultimately, it is the communication between attorney and client that is of utmost importance as the case progresses.
5. What to expect from the attorney. Initially, the attorney should give you information on how he/she works, how you can contact the firm, and of course, the hourly rate and amount of retainer expected and when payment should be made. Most law firms have handouts for new clients that spell out the expectations, but many times small firms and solo practitioners do not have these handouts. Therefore, you may have to take your own notes or ask that the attorney provide this information to you in writing or by email. You should have a clear understanding of the financial expectations at the end of the first meeting. The attorney should express what he/she sees as the next steps to be performed. It is also good for the attorney to give the client an expectation of the length of time anticipated for this process, even though this is really only an educated guess since things do not always go as planned.
6. Never sign the engagement letter in a rush. Once you decide on an attorney, you will be asked to sign an engagement letter. This letter is really a contract that outlines the expectations for both you, as the client, and the firm or attorney. Just like any other contract, you should take the time to review the engagement letter before you sign it. The attorney should be willing to go over the letter with you and answer all questions you may have. To avoid misunderstandings and conflict down the road, both parties must understand the Engagement Letter and the expectations for each party. Again, communication is the important aspect here.
If you are anticipating a divorce, a child custody dispute, or a maintenance (alimony) argument, hiring an attorney is most likely necessary to get through this process in the best way possible. Take your time if you can, be careful where you place your trust, and always trust your gut.
